Daddy cool: I’m now the owner of a Peruvian wrestling mask

THOSE observant ones among you may have noticed a slightly different picture byline this time.

So proud am I of my latest acquisition that I thought it was worth sharing with the wider world, for I am now the contented owner of a Peruvian wrestling mask. How? Because Daughter Number One has recently returned from a three-month ‘cultural’ visit to South America and she deduced that, above all else the continent has to offer – even a kilo of purest cocaine – a gaudy, knitted tea-cosy was what I really wanted. At least she won’t be arrested for smuggling drugs, even if I am arrested for wearing her present in public, particularly if I cycle past a primary school.

This all stems back to the advice my father gave me as a youth travelling the world. “Whatever you do son,” he said, nodding sagely, “bring your mother back a present.”