You contract it from bath and toilet mats and non-slip shower mats. So next time you bound out of the shower, look into the mirror and fancy yourself as a Page Three hunk you could be the biggest bug-bearer in town. My informant is an authority on the sphinwhatitsname at the University of Colorado. You are risking verrucas and athlete’s foot, he warns. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Vote winner Partisan? Who, me! On an albeit mad impulse I voted SNP at the last election and, of course, have lived to regret it. Besides, the father-in-law of Joanna Mowat, Alastair Mowat, is an age-old pal of mine. He got things done while a director of Scottish & Newcastle in their Holyrood days. So Joanna gets my vote on May 3. She’s the City Centre Conservative candidate. “Edinburgh has been let down over the last five years through a lack of strong leadership,” she’s shouting. “It’s time to prioritise the things that matter ... street cleaning, road and pavement repairs and maintenance, well-lit streets.” Right on, Joanna! But Edinburgh’s Tories have tons to do to put the Capital to rights. Afterwords . . ... this is American author Jean Kerr painfully close to the truth: “The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at 7.30 in the morning feeling just plain terrible.” Jean, you’ve got us guys to a tee. Exactly how we feel.