Leader: Savings? What savings?
Scene: Office of Sue Bruce, council chief executive. ENTER: Jenny Dawe, council leader.
JD: More bad news, I’m afraid, Sue. It’s about the Denigrated Management Facilitator.
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Hide AdSB: Pull yourself together, Jenny. You’re babbling. Management what?
JD: Denigrated Management Facilitator?
SB (sighs): You mean the Integrated Facilities Management.
JD: Yes, of course, that’s the thing, the 2,000 pen-pushers. We were all set to move them out, remember? Well the SNP, our so-called coalition partners, have struck again. Voted down. Totally irresponsible.
SB: So Salmond’s been on the phone to Cardownie again? In, out, shake it all about. Who’s running this show?
JD: Not us, Sue. Maybe you should have a word with Unison.
SB: But what about the savings?
JD: What savings?
SB (sobbing): The £51.5 million to pay for the trams and keep the lights on!
JD: Oh, those? (eyes suddenly brighten) Switch off the lights?