100 of Homer Simpson's most stupidly, hilarious quotes

Homer's birthday

In season four episode Duffless, Homer Simpson's Date of Birth was revealed to be May 12, 1956.

Since first appearing on the small screen in 1989, the dull-witted antics of the family man have entertained millions of viewers the world over.

Ranging from genius to downright imbecilic, here are Homer Simpson's finest quotes.

“I’ve learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.”

"A gun is not a weapon, it's a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator."

"Weaseling out of things is important to learn; it's what separates us from the animals… except the weasel."

“Operator! Give me the number for 911!”

"If he's so smart, how come he's dead?"

"Marge, you know it's rude to talk when my mouth is full."

“My beer! You never had a chance to become my urine!”

"Stupidity got us into this mess, and stupidity will get us out."

"Trying is the first step towards failure."

“Oh yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?”

(Photo: 20th Century Fox)

"Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening."

"I wish God were alive to see this."

"Roads are just a suggestion Marge, just like pants."

"We can outsmart those dolphins. Don't forget – we invented computers, leg warmers, bendy straws, peel-and-eat shrimp, the glory hole, and the pudding cup."

"If it doesn't have Siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair."

"I'm like that guy who single-handedly built the rocket & flew to the moon. What was his name? Apollo Creed?"

"If God didn't want me to eat chicken in church, then he would have made gluttony a sin."

"Volunteering is for suckers. Did you know that volunteers don't even get paid for the stuff they do?"

"Just sit through this NRA meeting Marge, and if you still don't think guns are great then we'll argue some more."

"When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!"

"Kids are great. You can teach them to hate what you hate and, with the Internet and all, they practically raise themselves."

"Oh, I have three kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and three money?"

"I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here."

"I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman."